Kuriozitete

A poorly dressed woman entered a fancy restaurant. All the customers looked at her with scorn. The woman was wearing a ragged old dress and had a sloppy look. The hostess immediately ran up to her not even trying to hide her disgust. “Madam you have probably mistaken the place for somewhere else.” All she wanted was to quickly get rid of this unwelcome guest. The woman looked at her shyly and asked is this grandson’s restaurant? The people in the dinning hall began to whisper and giggle. The hostess looked at the woman with a pitiful look you’re right....

A nun in the convent walked into the bathroom where mother superior was taking a shower. “There is a blind man to see you,” she says. “Well, if he is a blind man, than it does not matter if I’m in the shower. Send him in.” The blind man walks into the bathroom, and mother superior starts to tell him how much she appreciates him working at the convent for them. She goes on and on and 10 minutes later the man interrupts: “That’s nice and all, ma’am, but you can put your clothes on now. Where do you want...

From the mouths of babe, kids say the darnedest things. Sometimes they don’t even know what they’re saying, and sometimes they do. A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said: “All of you sons of bit*hes who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop. And all of you sons of bit*hes who are getting on, get your as*es in the train, cause we’re going down the tracks.” The mother was upset...

A veterinarian surgeon had a hell of a day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick animals his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner, after which they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed. At about 2:00 in the morning, the phone rang. “Is this the vet?” asked an elderly lady’s voice. “Yes, it is”, replied the vet. “Is this an emergency ?” “Well, sort of, said the elderly lady, there’s a whole bunch of cats on the roof outside making a terrible noise mating and...

She gets on a plane and sits in the first available seat. The flight attendant is coming around checking tickets. She looks at the blonde woman’s ticket and tells the blonde: “M’am you can’t sit here, your ticket says coach and this is first class. Please move to the back of the plane”. The blonde replies “I’m a blonde, I’m smart and have a good job. I’m not moving until the plane arrives in Jamaica” So the flight attendant, now hot under the collar at the blonde’s response, goes to another flight attendant and tells him what happened. So he...

In the following joke, we hear about a teacher who asked a student a question and when they didn’t get the answer they wanted, they began to ridicule the child. In the end, we are left laughing and the teacher learned a lesson that they won’t forget. Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?” Johnny: “Seven.” Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?” Johnny: “Seven.” Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently....

He should have reconsidered his phrasing. A 21 year old blonde girl met a large, powerfully built bodybuilder at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. The body builder takes off his shirt, and while doing so, he exclaims, “Boom!” The blonde says, “What a great chest you have!” He tells her, “That’s 100 lbs of dynamite, baby!” He then rips off his pants, once again yelling, “Boom!” The blonde is impressed and says, “My, what massive calves you have!” The body builder tells her, “That’s 100 lbs of dynamite, baby.” He...

In 1972, boxing champ Joe Frazier stopped by ‘The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.’ Joe comes out to a big round of applause and sits down with Johnny for a spirited interview. Johnny asks when the fight will be between Joe and George Foreman for the heavyweight title. Frazier tells him that January 2nd is the date. Johnny says, “A lot of people said the reason you’re fighting him is because they might take your title away if you didn’t fight soon.” Joe says that isn’t the reason. He says he likes to fight and has won every fight since...

A Kansas farmwife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called and that on a few occasions, When it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialled the subscriber’s house. The phone didn’t ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring. Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found: 1. The dog was tied...

When Tom had enough of the noise coming from his new neighbor Edward’s garage, he decided to end it. He grabbed his baseball bat and smashed Edward’s vintage car. But a few months later, Tom found his pregnant wife missing and Edward’s house locked. Edward lived a thrifty life until he saved enough money to buy a house. When he saw the ad for the sale of an old, time-worn building, he fixed his mind on getting it. “So, the house is yours,” the realtor said and handed the house keys to Edward. Since the building’s former owner passed on...