Jokes

A husband said to his wife. “The guys at the club said that our mailman has slept with every woman on our street except one…” Wife replies: “I bet it’s Paula”

Marriage can be tough, and sometimes arguments take a dramatic turn. But this couple took it to the next level with their exchange.. Read the joke below: A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out. As he walked to the door she yelled: ”I hope you die, a long, slow painful death.” He turned around and said: ‘So, you, want me to fucking stay?

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, “The driver just insulted me!” The man says, “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.” There once was a blind old man who decided to visit Texas. ******** When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, “Wow, these seats are big!” “Everything...

A man became sick. He consulted many multi-facility hospitals. Still couldn’t get cured. He was sad. Then his wife advised, “why don’t you consult a veterinary doctor?” He was shocked. He screamed at her are you mad.. She spoke softly nothing happened to me…It is you have a problem. You wake up early in the morning like cock, take a half bath like a crow, eat something like a monkey then run to the office like a racehorse, you work like a donkey, there u scream to your juniors like a wild bear evening you reach home and bark at...

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. . While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife: “Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants s3x, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates...

Little Johnny walks in on his mother in the bathtub. He asks his mother what is the big fuzzy patch below her bellybutton. She replies, “A bush. The next day Little Johnny walks in on his father while he’s in the shower. He asks: “What is that big long thing hanging between your legs? ”His father replies, “It is a snake.” A few days later, Little Johnny walks in on his mother, once again in the bathtub. He asks, “What are those two baggy things hanging above your bellybutton?” She replies, “Headlights.”A couple weeks go by and the little boy...

Jane married Ted and had 13 children. Her first husband, Ted, died of cancer. She remarried again, and she and Bob had 7 more children. Bob was killed in a car accident 12 years later Jane again remarried, and this time she and John had 5 more children. Jane finally died after having 25 children. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, ‘They’re finally together.’ Ethel leaned over and quietly asked her best friend Margaret, ‘Do you think he means her first, second, or third husband?’ Margaret...

The Swede’s wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her distinct lack of underwear. Good God, woman! Why aren’t you wearing any skivvies?” Ole demanded. “Well,” she said. “You don’t give me enough housekeeping money to afford any. ”The Swede immediately reaches into his pocket and says, “For the sake of decency, here’s a 50. Go and buy yourself some underwear!” Next, the Irishman’s wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that...

Sometimes, misunderstandings can lead to the funniest moments! Here’s a hilarious story that shows how quick thinking and a little bit of irony can save the day. Check it out: An elderly woman had just come back home after an evening at Church when she was startled by a burglar. She caught him red-handed, trying to make off with her valuables, and shouted, “Stop! Acts 2:38!” “Repent and be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.” The burglar froze in place. Calmly, the woman called the police and told them what had happened....

A couple is having a nice dinner at a local restaurant, having a good time telling blonde jokes. Suddenly a blonde approached them and slapped her hand down on the table. She angrily tells them that she can take a blonde joke as well as the next person, but it isn’t nice to keep bashing them in public. The couple apologize and changes the topic. A few minutes later the woman needs to go to the restroom, so she goes off, and she is followed by the blonde. After 10 minutes the blonde comes out frusturated, and storms out the...