I never thought working from home would turn me into my wife’s full-time servant. For three years, I juggled a career, childcare, and household chores, until my mom stepped in—and everything changed in ways I never expected.
“I never imagined working from home would turn me into Ruby’s full-time servant,” I muttered, scrubbing dishes while answering emails.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. When we got married, everything seemed equally split between us. But now, with the twins and her job, things had changed.
Ruby gave birth to our twin boys three years ago. She spent two months at home before rushing back to work, eager to continue building her career. It made sense at first. Ruby’s job was demanding, and I had the flexibility to work from home, so I took on childcare.
“I can handle this,” I had told myself. “It’s temporary, and Ruby will help once things settle down.”
But nothing settled down.
In those first few months, I did more than just watch the kids. I fed them, changed diapers, and cleaned up messes. Ruby would come home exhausted, drop her bag by the door, and collapse on the couch.
“I’m beat,” she’d sigh. “Can you handle dinner?”
“Sure,” I’d say, juggling the boys and cooking. It wasn’t ideal, but I figured, why not? She was tired from work, and I was already home.
As time passed, though, I noticed Ruby wasn’t just tired. She seemed to expect that everything at home would be handled. I wasn’t just a father anymore—I was the cook, the cleaner, and the errand runner.
“Can you pick up my dry cleaning?” she’d ask, heading out the door.
“Did you start the laundry?” she’d say over the phone while at work.
The boys eventually started kindergarten, and I thought, “Finally, I’ll get a break.” But Ruby still saw me as the person responsible for everything at home. It didn’t matter that I worked full-time too.
One night, I brought it up.
“Ruby,” I said, sitting next to her after the kids had gone to bed. “I think we need to divide the chores a bit better. I’m working too, and I can’t do everything by myself.”
She looked up from her phone, frowning slightly. “But you’re home all day,” she said. “You have time to do these things.”
I felt a sharp sting of frustration. “I’m working, too,” I said, trying to keep my voice calm. “It’s not just about being at home. I need some help.”
Ruby sighed, rubbing her temples. “I’m exhausted when I get home. My job takes everything out of me. Can’t you just keep managing it for now?”
I didn’t argue. I let it go. But inside, I was fuming. How could she not see that I was exhausted too? I didn’t want to live in a messy house, so I kept up with the chores, but it was wearing me down.
It wasn’t just the housework. I missed my friends. I hadn’t gone out in months. If I wasn’t working, I was either cleaning or taking care of the kids. My life was shrinking, and Ruby didn’t seem to notice.
The breaking point came when my mom unexpectedly dropped by one afternoon. She never visited during the week, but she had made lasagna and thought I might like some.
When she walked into the house, I was in the middle of cooking dinner, folding laundry, and trying to answer a work email. She watched me for a moment, her eyes narrowing.
“What on earth are you doing?” she asked, her voice full of surprise.
“Just the usual,” I replied, trying to smile. “Cooking, cleaning, working. The usual.”
Mom put the lasagna down on the counter and stared at me. “Do you do this all the time?”
I nodded. “Yeah. Ruby’s really busy with work, so I handle most of the house stuff.”
Her brow furrowed. “This isn’t right. You’re working too. You shouldn’t be doing everything.”
I shrugged, feeling a lump form in my throat. “I don’t mind it, Mom. But it’s getting hard. I haven’t seen my friends in months. I’m exhausted.”
Mom’s expression changed. There was a fire in her eyes now. “This has gone too far. I know exactly what needs to be done.”
Before I could respond, she was already grabbing her phone.
“Mom, what are you doing?”
“You’ll see,” she said, her voice firm.
The next day, Ruby called me at work. Her voice was shaking with anger.
Ruby’s angry voice buzzed through the phone. “How could you do this to me?! I have yoga, a waxing appointment, and a manicure scheduled!”
I blinked, unsure of what was happening. “What are you talking about?”
“My weekend! Your mother showed up out of nowhere this morning and said I’m on my own with the kids. She said you needed a break.”
I froze. Mom hadn’t mentioned her plan. “Wait, she what?”
“She’s taking you to a spa with your friends for the weekend,” Ruby snapped, her voice rising. “I don’t have time for this, and now she’s left me with everything!”
I could hear the frustration in her tone, but underneath it was something else—something closer to panic.
Before I could respond, I heard a rustling sound on the other end of the line. Then, my mother’s voice cut through.
“Ruby, you’ve been taking advantage of him for too long,” Mom said, her voice calm but firm. “Why do you think your time is more valuable than his? He works full-time, just like you. And yet, he does everything around the house. That ends now.”
There was a pause. Ruby didn’t reply at first. I could imagine her standing there, stunned, not knowing how to respond.
“Mom—” I started, but she cut me off.
“Don’t worry, son. I’ve got this,” she said, her tone softening for me. “You’re going to that spa, and Ruby’s going to see what it’s like to handle everything herself for a change.”
Ruby stammered, “But… I didn’t realize…”
Mom didn’t let her finish. “Well, now you will. Have fun with the kids, Ruby. It’s about time you spent some quality time with them.”
With that, the call ended. I stood there, phone in hand, a mixture of relief and disbelief swirling inside me. For the first time in years, I felt truly seen. I wasn’t just the invisible helper in the background anymore—Mom understood. She was standing up for me.
The spa weekend was everything I needed and more. For the first time in what felt like forever, I wasn’t thinking about cleaning, cooking, or whether the kids needed a snack. I wasn’t worrying about balancing my job and household duties. I was just… me.
As I sat in the hot tub, surrounded by peaceful silence, I realized just how tired I had been.
“I didn’t realize how much weight I was carrying until I felt it lifted,” I muttered to myself, sinking deeper into the warm water. The tension in my shoulders and back started to melt away, and for the first time in years, I felt at peace.
Meanwhile, back at home, Ruby was getting a taste of what I’d been dealing with. From the moment she woke up, the kids were her responsibility. Breakfast, school drop-offs, laundry, cleaning—it was all on her shoulders now.
When I returned home Saturday evening, Ruby was waiting for me at the door. Her hair was pulled back in a messy bun, and there were dark circles under her eyes. She rushed to me, wrapping her arms around my neck.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, her voice cracking. “I didn’t realize how much you were handling until I did it all myself. It was so overwhelming.”
I held her for a moment, feeling the weight of her words. “It’s okay,” I said softly. “But we need to do this together. I can’t keep doing everything.”
She nodded, pulling back to look me in the eyes. “I know. I’ve already spoken to my boss about reducing my hours. I need to be more present here, with you and the boys. I don’t want to lose our family.”
Her words were like a balm to my tired soul. For the first time in a long time, I felt hopeful. Maybe things could change. Maybe we could find a better balance.
“I’m glad,” I said, smiling. “We’ll figure it out.”
Over the next few weeks, things began to shift. Ruby followed through on her promise. She cut back her hours at work and started pitching in more at home.
It wasn’t perfect, but it was better. I felt like we were a team again, working together instead of living separate lives under the same roof.
Now, I felt stronger—both in my marriage and in myself. I learned that it was okay to ask for help, to demand balance and respect. Ruby and I were both working on it, and for the first time in years, I felt like we were on the same page.
